The survive vs thrive battle:
When working with clients we chat about what they think they want or desire or need from this work. And one thing is always guaranteed – the perceived issue is never the real issue. It’s only a symptom, and so we begin at the beginning without even knowing where that is sometimes.
And that’s so awesome because following the deepest requests from our soul, leads to the greatest healing of all.
During a recent session something came up that I believe is timely to share because it applies to everyone.
We have been led to believe that we carry a badge of honour when we identify as a survivor. And that is a Venus fly trap ready to snap closed at any time, keeping us in an underlying but very real state of fight, flight or freeze.
To survive is to be constantly on a treadmill of fear of falling back into old patterns/habits.
To survive is to expend energy on fighting off thoughts and feelings that may be harmful to us if we let them in.
To survive is to radically shortchange yourself.
Survival is a temporary state, not meant to be visited for more than the shortest time possible.
When we stay there we not only miss out on the fruits of life, but oh so much more.
We become short sighted, battle fatigued, snappy.
We eat and act for survival, just to get in the calories at the expense of our wellbeing, but not consciously recognising this, we think our cravings are real but they are only feeding the needy greedy survival energy.
We remain in a state of self congratulatory celebration of sorts because we cannot see beyond the veil of anxiety and the feelings of vulnerability.
So HOW do we progress from this repetitive staleness that only brings short term relief before the next “danger” appears, making us leap right back into survival mode?
We learn to THRIVE.
We take the leap of FAITH that isn’t easy when we have so many backstops, escape routes, reasons that make sense, excuses that we always use, fear of failure, uncertainty.
We demand guarantees that taking a LEAP of FAITH will be worth it, we shake our finger and point at it, threatening it to not lead us astray dammit!! We don’t trust that we can pull ourselves together again after that leap, and what if we can’t? What bad things might happen to us, to those around us, to our friends. Will we lose something or someone?
We bargain with our intuition saying “don’t you know this is scary? I want something with a guarantee and DEFINITELY without a risk.”
This leads back to the foundation of something we all carry within us, to some degree. And that is PTSD. Post traumatic stress disorder.
With PTSD you have experienced trauma the body did not complete, resulting in your survival instinct not completing the survival process.
Remember, it’s a process, not a natural state.
You are not born to be a survivor! And your soul is longing for the release of the trauma/survival pattern.
There is a large melting pot of invisible trauma of every living person around you, near or far, friend or foe, like an ocean that knows no distinction but spreads trauma of every variety and origin from one massive ocean of despair and fear, overwhelm and burnout – often paralysing but often just enough to keep you living a normal life. Or at least one that you believe is normal because it’s been that way for so long, or you’ve ridden the waves for decades so you think it’s a cycle that has no end.
And it’s often normalised by society so much so, that medication is prescribed rather than cure, thus feeding the greedy pockets of big pharma who rely on our survival/trauma cycle.
You may be unconsciously attracting circumstances that trigger certain instincts that have helped you to survive in the past.
You may know of ways to begin the healing process, and that’s a great start. There are apps to quiet the mind and meditate, books to guide you through processes the author has found helpful, journals to write your innermost stories in. While these are wonderful tools, they rarely shift anything that has been there for decades because the resistance is like an iron gate – heavy and imposing, like a prison.
I see the pleasure and the pain when this trauma is called out and often literally pulled out of its resting place. The release is visceral and it can bring groans of pain like a labour as it works its way out of your body, where you have unwittingly been nurturing and feeding it through its attachment to your life giving bodily functions.
It often rests in your hips, pelvis, reproductive system (male and female), lungs, heart and brain, causing all manner of illnesses from IBS and migraines to anaemia and eye problems. Not to mention constant anxiety, panic attacks, low level depression and dissociative behaviour.
Your body is so advanced that it communicates through pain and discomfort, but we have turned our eyes and ears away from truly understanding our own body’s language, and give away our power when we turn to others to tell us, from their perspective, from their experience, what is wrong with us, and in an act of self betrayal, we ask them how to heal from it, based on their experience and not ours.
Each of us holds the keys to our own healing inside of us.
No one knows your body like you do. But losing touch with that inner dialogue has become not only commonplace, it’s almost an automatic bypass switch that we forget to re-set each time we give our power away to an outside influence.
The blessing and gift to the world that I carry in my life is to heal trauma patterns, revealing the possibilities that lie beneath the veil of illusion they carry.
And just like a naturally gifted athlete, a brilliant mathematician, a born actor…
I listened to this calling 10 years ago and I continue to honour it every single day of my life.
I didn’t know I was born to do this work, not for many decades, but I know it’s all I will ever do no matter how I bring it forth.
It’s in my bones, it’s in my breath, it’s in my voice, it’s in my touch.
Whether it be in meditation sessions, one on one sessions, teaching pilates or walking with a friend,
It’s what I now live and breathe and share.
You’ll know if it’s your time to begin or continue this process.